Dear Ted:
When do you think the inevitable breakup between hottie Orlando Bloom and that underwear ho will be? I am hoping for a Merry Christmas.
—Tina
Dear No Time Like the Present:
We don't think Orlando'll fit in your stocking—try his more stocking-size Lord of the Rings costar Elijah Wood.
Visualizzazione post con etichetta ted. Mostra tutti i post
Visualizzazione post con etichetta ted. Mostra tutti i post
lunedì 19 novembre 2007
Victoria's Secret fashion show
"Getting his grab on at the after-do was Orlando Bloom. He skipped the actual show, but nonetheless found time to paw Aussie model Miranda Kerr inside the Kodak’s ballroom. The two cutie-hons looked very couple-esque, very ready for a prime-placed mention in People, as they canoodled and danced together. Wanting not to be seen, they were not. Why’s that, babes?"
source
source
martedì 21 agosto 2007
[...]"Such as?"
"Playing videogames, watching DVDs--and then we call girls up," Monaghan continued with a boyish wink. "And they say they can't come 'round, so we call more girls up and play more videogames."
"Okay, Mr. Dial-a-Dame," I said, "complete the following: Hobbits who play together...
"That's naughty," D.M. said, as if coralling babes by cell is good clean fun. But with a big fat smile, the D-man relented and answered, "Live together!"
"Oh, have you been playing house with the other Hobbits?"
"We've all been living together at Billy's house in Mexico. Me, Elijah and Sean all went down there," he explained with a chuckle. " All the Hobbits under one roof for about three weeks. It was like life imitating art."
I'm guessing this is where head Hobbit Elijah Wood's comment comes into play, eh?
"We are merry!" E.W. heartily agreed as he held up his digital camera and snapped a few pics of his buds on the red carpet. "It [Mexico] was amazing; we had the best time!"
With a secretive grin (dreaming of lazy lovemaking, perhaps), D.M. rejoined his gang of boys, which included the delectable Orlando Bloom.
Tearing himself away from the cozy clan, the noble Elf was looking luscious in all black, with a wispy-thin mustache and a tuft of chin scruff.
"Tongue in my ear!" Orlando purred as the "new guy," Karl Urban, surprised him with a friendly nuzzle as a greeting. In the mood and chatting about his merriest moments with the Hobbits, O.B. happily brought up their time in New Zealand:
"Oh, surfing was the best," Mr. B. exclaimed. "We'd have a few days off from shooting, and we'd all go out and surf all day long."
The ocean, that is. The phone lines weren't ridden till later in the evening.
Poopin' P.S.: While the Hobbit boys were gabbing about kicking up their feet, the Elf princess, Liv Tyler, was mainly moaning about how she was ready to go home already and have some dinner (a pastime she was fond of on the New Zealand set, remember). Not exactly the partying type since she has settled down with her Spacehog fiancé, Royston Langdon.
Whoopin' P.S.: And where was Viggo Mortensen in all of this boyish busyness? V.M. ditched the usual pencil-pushing press and dashed 'cross the street, where the frenzied fans stood in awe of the starry scene. Followed by a harried handful of flackers ("Where is he going?" was the most common schoolmarmish screech heard), the man who plays Aragorn raced over to shake hands and sign autographs. And trust me, that's not something you see every day. Ain't it great?
"Playing videogames, watching DVDs--and then we call girls up," Monaghan continued with a boyish wink. "And they say they can't come 'round, so we call more girls up and play more videogames."
"Okay, Mr. Dial-a-Dame," I said, "complete the following: Hobbits who play together...
"That's naughty," D.M. said, as if coralling babes by cell is good clean fun. But with a big fat smile, the D-man relented and answered, "Live together!"
"Oh, have you been playing house with the other Hobbits?"
"We've all been living together at Billy's house in Mexico. Me, Elijah and Sean all went down there," he explained with a chuckle. " All the Hobbits under one roof for about three weeks. It was like life imitating art."
I'm guessing this is where head Hobbit Elijah Wood's comment comes into play, eh?
"We are merry!" E.W. heartily agreed as he held up his digital camera and snapped a few pics of his buds on the red carpet. "It [Mexico] was amazing; we had the best time!"
With a secretive grin (dreaming of lazy lovemaking, perhaps), D.M. rejoined his gang of boys, which included the delectable Orlando Bloom.
Tearing himself away from the cozy clan, the noble Elf was looking luscious in all black, with a wispy-thin mustache and a tuft of chin scruff.
"Tongue in my ear!" Orlando purred as the "new guy," Karl Urban, surprised him with a friendly nuzzle as a greeting. In the mood and chatting about his merriest moments with the Hobbits, O.B. happily brought up their time in New Zealand:
"Oh, surfing was the best," Mr. B. exclaimed. "We'd have a few days off from shooting, and we'd all go out and surf all day long."
The ocean, that is. The phone lines weren't ridden till later in the evening.
Poopin' P.S.: While the Hobbit boys were gabbing about kicking up their feet, the Elf princess, Liv Tyler, was mainly moaning about how she was ready to go home already and have some dinner (a pastime she was fond of on the New Zealand set, remember). Not exactly the partying type since she has settled down with her Spacehog fiancé, Royston Langdon.
Whoopin' P.S.: And where was Viggo Mortensen in all of this boyish busyness? V.M. ditched the usual pencil-pushing press and dashed 'cross the street, where the frenzied fans stood in awe of the starry scene. Followed by a harried handful of flackers ("Where is he going?" was the most common schoolmarmish screech heard), the man who plays Aragorn raced over to shake hands and sign autographs. And trust me, that's not something you see every day. Ain't it great?
The Eastern Eyes Have It
Kate Bosworth, arriving with her ferocious Wall Street femme friends for a dinner out with yummy honey Orlando Bloom and the rest of the Lord of the Rings gang. Serafina, 61st and Madison Avenue. Superskinny in jeans and a black sweater, the posh cutie-tamootie chatted away with the girls in the women's restroom line, while her Pirates of the Caribbean b-f...
O.B. was gabbing with his poppin' boy-pals and sorta ignoring his sex-ay g-f (just for a second, I'm sure). But who cares, really, since O. was looking totally lickable in denim pants and a long black cashmere coat, with some seriously bushy hair? The Boz didn't seem to sweat the mini-snub, since the Pirate Man left with K. at his side after dinner. Saliva-switch! Let's turn our attention to Bloom's Hobbit-hopping bud...
Elijah Wood, who was sporting a pseudo-weird Mohawk and his usual deer-in-the-headlights look on this night out. Arriving first, E.W. and his compadres Dominic Monaghan, Billy Boyd and Sean Astin were all dressed actor-down in jeans and tees, with scarves around their necks. Oh yes, and the other three had Mohawks too. Perhaps that's the latest trendy 'do for Hobbits? After munching their meals, E.W. and his boys headed to the back bar, where...
Sean Astin was gabbing away on his cell in earnest. But he did take time to joke around with a drunken dude who rolled up and jokingly told him The Goonies was his best work. Rolling with the punches, S.A. agreed.
Jeez, I'm confused!
Others aren't. "Oh, come on," pleaded one of those set interlopers who's paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to mind the out-of-town goings-on (and not speak to the likes of me) on movie sets, Elizabethtown included. "I've seen them together. Something's going on."
When pressed, the pooper 'fessed he hasn't seen anything more than huddled conversations and meals together. Hell, even Louisville's locals have been reporting that--via these very electronic pages--for weeks now.
(And now that E's filming here in H-town, Kirsten and Orlando are right back at it, hanging tight locally. Love it!)
Quite frankly, since one of the supposed doers involved is one of those notoriously untouchable Lord of the Rings types, we may never know fer sure.
I mean, I hear the fussy Brit even talks on the phone through a handkerchief. For germ-avoidance purposes, natch. Sheesh, a lover like that ain't leavin' much of a trail, trust me.
Still in the mood for indelicate dissolution? Thought so.
[..] However, sad to say, not everyone in Hell-Ay attended the Institute of Ms. Manners.
Especially those rowdy Lord of the Rings boys, God love 'em! Just last week, head Hobbit Elijah Wood rushed out on opening night to catch a screening of Orlando Bloom's flick Pirates of the Caribbean. The Grove Theaters, at 3rd Street and Fairfax.
Accompanied by a posse of arty actor types, E.W. was looking adorable, with his hair buzz-cut and wearing a light gray tee and denims. And while he and his band of boys were all smiles and applause--especially for the trailer featuring pal Viggo Mortensen's upcoming project, Hidalgo--they weren't quite feeling the love for Tom Cruise's sword-wielding venture, The Last Samurai.
As the puncturing preview flickered across the screen, a round of snickering broke out amongst Elijah's group before they out-and-out began to laugh. No clapping, indeed.
But I must say, in defense of Wood & Co., they weren't the only ones laughing.
Must've been some really funny inside joke, because we all know Tom-babe isn't a laughing matter. Not at all.
[..] Viggo Mortensen, vibin' to John Doe lyrics at Largo. Fairfax Avenue. City of the Fallen Egos. Planted solo, deep in the banquette room, V.M. (sporting a red soccer shirt and a five o'clock shadow) politely gabbed with blond admirers and sipped on-the-house bevs--still remembering to tip. Vig-doll's interest in Mr. Doe is rooted in history: John once punked out in the band X with Mr. M.'s ex-wife, Exene Cervenka. Ms. C. is reportedly suing V.M. for amped-up child support for their 16-year-old son, Henry.
[..]
Other tongue-biz buzz was 'bout, oh, not much, just partying and homosexuality, the usual Hollywood canapé chitchat.
"There was a lot of screwing going on in New Zealand," pooped an inside (high-up) set vet. "But look, most of it was straight. These guys [Hobbits, elves, horny young men] just aren't afraid to show their incredible affection for one other; that's what gets the gay stuff started."
Glad that's settled! (Yeah, right.)
"Dominic, hands down," I was told by myriad Rings-leaders when I quizzed them about who got into the most trouble off camera. Hmmm. Very interesting, as just seconds before Dom-cutie-tamooti--in shimmer 'n' scruff--told me he felt Viggo was awfully artful at target practice.
"He was always off hunting and fishing, you know," D.M. weighed in with a wink. Elijah concurred, but more about that one latuh. Time to switch-hit back to the hot 'n' bothered blood-red carpet, doncha think?
lunedì 30 luglio 2007
Dear Ted: Please, oh, please tell me how many lattes or Red Bulls I have to ply you with in order to bribe the following information: "Wait till you hear what I've got to say about Orlando [Bloom]'s bathroom habits." Don't make me come and paddle your chicken-fried ass. Showering you with hugs and smoochies--you know I love you more than my luggage. Helen Troyerson Green Bay, Wisconsin Dear Helen: Your what? Better be Louis Vuitton. Hmmm. Let's see here. What with all the ferocious ass kissing, I'd have to at least give you a Bloomin' hint, right? Think beyond clean. Dear Ted: In your recent Orlando Bloom item, you wrote, "Hell hath no fury like a fan base shaved." Would that be a shaved mustache or beard? Just wondering. Tori Flower Dallas Dear Tori: I am too, doll-puss, now that you asked. What are you implying? |
Dear Ted:
I had to laugh when reading the retraction statement regarding Orlando Bloom: "Southern sources are electronically screaming at my chicken-fried ass that Mr. Bloom was 'very, very sweet' with the locals and not at all germ phobic."
Have you Googled Orlando lately? (Who doesn't want to Google Orlando?) There are hundreds of Internet sites and forums devoted to the man. Scores of women--yes, women, not just teenyboppers--all over the globe will come rushing to his defense should you besmirch his lovely name.
Elizabeth Turner
Portland, Oregon
Dear Googling Gal:
Wait till you hear what I've got to say about Orlando's bathroom habits. Hell hath no fury like a fan base shaved.
October 7, 2004
Oh, you thought we were done with the puerile penis set, didja? Hardly.
No, we still need to zero in on Grimy Gus and Harland Fuss (or as they're known to their most secretive of buds, Gussy 'n' Fussy). G. 'n' F. have been on location recently. Well, one of them has, at least. Don't think too many folks know that Fuss has joined his good bud Gus for a little mattress messin'.
But I do! (And now you vicarious folks do, too--how fab!)
Look, I'm the first to give a hearty shout-out to two guys who want to do what they want, sexually speaking. But when both--all right, make that one--of these men go to great lengths to make the public believe he's bedding down with rising supersweet starlet Eartha Bertha, well then, I get a little pissy.
Although it sure was romantic when Gus 'n' Fuss went to such a Secret Service-defying to-do while Gus was out of the States (in a film-friendly environment) making his latest butch-it-up celluloid job.
Public lobby and elevator trips at the sumptuous Springtime Suites hotel with Fuss 'n' Eartha were arranged. Photographers just happened to be around, sorta the same way Rock Hudson lived his whole fake life. But I'm getting terribly off the point here, aren't I?
Back to the boys: It really is a modern-day Romeo + Romeo + Juliet story, if ya think about it.
Only the gullible public's the one taking the poison.-
=====
July 06, 2007
You were expecting Gussy 'n' Fussy, perhaps? Like, who cares about those ersatz het jokers anymore? (Not too many folks, I assure ya.)
=====
December 04, 2008
"Dear Ted:
Loving your new column, even the yellow. This is a question about an old blind item that I don't expect you'll answer but I thought I'd give it a shot. Are Harland Fuss and Grimy Gus still together?
—Silver
Dear Oldie:
No. Nor were they ever."
Oh, you thought we were done with the puerile penis set, didja? Hardly.
No, we still need to zero in on Grimy Gus and Harland Fuss (or as they're known to their most secretive of buds, Gussy 'n' Fussy). G. 'n' F. have been on location recently. Well, one of them has, at least. Don't think too many folks know that Fuss has joined his good bud Gus for a little mattress messin'.
But I do! (And now you vicarious folks do, too--how fab!)
Look, I'm the first to give a hearty shout-out to two guys who want to do what they want, sexually speaking. But when both--all right, make that one--of these men go to great lengths to make the public believe he's bedding down with rising supersweet starlet Eartha Bertha, well then, I get a little pissy.
Although it sure was romantic when Gus 'n' Fuss went to such a Secret Service-defying to-do while Gus was out of the States (in a film-friendly environment) making his latest butch-it-up celluloid job.
Public lobby and elevator trips at the sumptuous Springtime Suites hotel with Fuss 'n' Eartha were arranged. Photographers just happened to be around, sorta the same way Rock Hudson lived his whole fake life. But I'm getting terribly off the point here, aren't I?
Back to the boys: It really is a modern-day Romeo + Romeo + Juliet story, if ya think about it.
Only the gullible public's the one taking the poison.-
=====
July 06, 2007
You were expecting Gussy 'n' Fussy, perhaps? Like, who cares about those ersatz het jokers anymore? (Not too many folks, I assure ya.)
=====
December 04, 2008
"Dear Ted:
Loving your new column, even the yellow. This is a question about an old blind item that I don't expect you'll answer but I thought I'd give it a shot. Are Harland Fuss and Grimy Gus still together?
—Silver
Dear Oldie:
No. Nor were they ever."
June 19, 2003
Sex and the Single Whirl
Well, let's see. Don't think they do it in Hollywood like they do it in New Zealand.
You do know about that singles sport, doncha?
While those adorable Hobbit buds and Liv&Viggo&Miranda&Orlando and myriad mush-minded individuals were searching for love, strange things happened. Like waitress pinning.
Merde! Was I supposed to say waitstaff pinning? My apologies.
Anyhoo! One bugger whose name shall remain unmentioned by me (and whose friggin' lawyer can kiss my voicemail, as I'm not being overly specific), who was down N.Z. way while filming the second and third Lord of the Rings installments, surprised a few of his chums. By doing the above-mentioned food-server on a table. In the establishment for which she toiled. In every sense of the word.
But did she get a tip?
Closer to (I thought) tackier home, Tinseltown's swingers do it a tad more discreetly. Barely. Oh, to be free, unattached and on the make in La-La Land.
June 5, 2003
Pokes 'n' Jokes
Oh! One more sexually charged item before we trip on to the Eyes Fantastic, 'kay by you? Thought so.Those frisky Hobbit boys (men, creatures, byoots, what have you) wereonly too happy to discuss derrieres and other daring subjects, post-awards wins. Well, sorta glad.
Pokes 'n' Jokes
Oh! One more sexually charged item before we trip on to the Eyes Fantastic, 'kay by you? Thought so.Those frisky Hobbit boys (men, creatures, byoots, what have you) wereonly too happy to discuss derrieres and other daring subjects, post-awards wins. Well, sorta glad.
"He's so far up Viggo Mortensen's ass, he couldn't even see it!" Sean Astin remarked about fellow Lord of the Rings winner Elijah Wood, when I asked the best buds to rate V.M.'s butt. And, yes, there was a reason.
Once you see the salty awards (way I like 'em), you'll notice a great deal of footage is devoted to buttage, particularly that of Lucy Liu, Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore. Hilarious stuff. Made quite a dent in the show's feel, so to speak.Could this to-the-gluteus-max atmosphere be the reason Billy Boyd saw fit to use the occasion to deny he's dated costar Dominic Monaghan?
Like I said, salty stuff.
December 11, 2003
But what we're all dying to know is what's really going on with that
cuddly guy group--Dominic, Billy and Sean--right? "Tell me,"
I ventured to Hobbit honcho E.W., "how does it feel to have the Fellowship
coming to an end, both onscreen and off?"
But what we're all dying to know is what's really going on with that
cuddly guy group--Dominic, Billy and Sean--right? "Tell me,"
I ventured to Hobbit honcho E.W., "how does it feel to have the Fellowship
coming to an end, both onscreen and off?"
"It's sad," he replied with a melancholy smile. "It's been four years
in the making, and in the process of that journey, we created a family. I
haven't begun to really accept it. I think when it does hit me, I'll be
really sad."
More up front about their nooky-loving ways was Hob-in-waiting D.M.
"All right, let's get it out in the open," I said. "Why is everyone
convinced there's something going on with you guys?"
"Tell me more!" I pressed.
"I love those guys," 'fessed Dommy-boy. "I don't [have] any qualms about it. They're my brothers, and I don't have any problem showing affection for men. I'm aware of my own sexuality enough to be free with people.""Does you find it amusing that folks think you're queer?"
"Yes! What's wrong with being gay?" D.M. asked with a chuckle. "It's cool. If it keeps people talking, then it's all fine."
December 11, 2003
Board of the Zings
Forget about Nicole, Julia and Tom. The ring ruling Hollywood these days is the tight cast of Lord of the Rings: Elijah, Viggo, Orlando...I mean, last week's Return of the King premiere was the equivalent of a Justin Timberlake concert, with frenzied, screaming fans and smitten, tear-streaked girls lining the red carpet at Westwood's Mann Village.
After scrawling autographs and delivering sound bites for the salivating press (helps polish the loafers, I find), Elijah and his Hobbit boys were hyped for some serious getting down. Sweating up the Middle-earth scene at the after-soiree (held on the tented grounds at the Wadsworth Theater), E. & Co. took over the deejay booth, mixing the tunes for the glitzed 'n' gyrating crowd well into the wee hours.
Much more mellow, hardly a surprise, were Orlando and Viggo, deep in mahn-ly chitchat much o' the night. Gossiping? Or solving the ills of Hollywood, ya think? Mind you, earlier in the evening, V.M. had a little to say on that matter when I asked him if there's an equivalent to the One Ring in Hollywood.
"Yes: awards," the totally do-able iconoclastic actor-artist responded simply. "They're not evil in themselves--and neither is the ring--but what they bring out in some people certainly can be. [People] become more interested in [awards] as opposed to working together."
You go, you barefooted bearer of the truth!
But is the Lord franchise itself immune to such evils? Turning to the granddaddy of the gang, Ian McKellen--who was totally resplendent in leathuh pants, with a chain tie under his velvet smoking jacket--I asked if this will be the year for the awaited Oscar nod.
"Well, I'm a member of the Academy," he responded with a cheeky wink. (He's a dirty middle-aged man. Takes one to know one.) "And I know who I'll be voting for!"
Board of the Zings
Forget about Nicole, Julia and Tom. The ring ruling Hollywood these days is the tight cast of Lord of the Rings: Elijah, Viggo, Orlando...I mean, last week's Return of the King premiere was the equivalent of a Justin Timberlake concert, with frenzied, screaming fans and smitten, tear-streaked girls lining the red carpet at Westwood's Mann Village.
After scrawling autographs and delivering sound bites for the salivating press (helps polish the loafers, I find), Elijah and his Hobbit boys were hyped for some serious getting down. Sweating up the Middle-earth scene at the after-soiree (held on the tented grounds at the Wadsworth Theater), E. & Co. took over the deejay booth, mixing the tunes for the glitzed 'n' gyrating crowd well into the wee hours.
Much more mellow, hardly a surprise, were Orlando and Viggo, deep in mahn-ly chitchat much o' the night. Gossiping? Or solving the ills of Hollywood, ya think? Mind you, earlier in the evening, V.M. had a little to say on that matter when I asked him if there's an equivalent to the One Ring in Hollywood.
"Yes: awards," the totally do-able iconoclastic actor-artist responded simply. "They're not evil in themselves--and neither is the ring--but what they bring out in some people certainly can be. [People] become more interested in [awards] as opposed to working together."
You go, you barefooted bearer of the truth!
But is the Lord franchise itself immune to such evils? Turning to the granddaddy of the gang, Ian McKellen--who was totally resplendent in leathuh pants, with a chain tie under his velvet smoking jacket--I asked if this will be the year for the awaited Oscar nod.
"Well, I'm a member of the Academy," he responded with a cheeky wink. (He's a dirty middle-aged man. Takes one to know one.) "And I know who I'll be voting for!"
lunedì 16 luglio 2007
Pretty boys
Speaking of hell-raisin' hotties, Orlando Bloom was spotted Friday night having dinner at Falcon with some dudes. Lots of pretty boys. (Hey, if surrounding oneself with every succulent specimen known to boykind was the plan, wonder why hunky O. didn't decide to hit Falcon on Tuesday, when it becomes, like, a total homo hot spot--guess we'll have to go to sleep wondering 'bout that conundrum, huh?)
Totally straight man Bloom's on-off-on-who-cares g-f, Kate Bosworth, wasn't with Orlando at the burnin' Sunset Strip spot, which is a shame, because Ms. Skin 'n' Jawline looks like she could totally use a good meal.
Speaking of hell-raisin' hotties, Orlando Bloom was spotted Friday night having dinner at Falcon with some dudes. Lots of pretty boys. (Hey, if surrounding oneself with every succulent specimen known to boykind was the plan, wonder why hunky O. didn't decide to hit Falcon on Tuesday, when it becomes, like, a total homo hot spot--guess we'll have to go to sleep wondering 'bout that conundrum, huh?)
Totally straight man Bloom's on-off-on-who-cares g-f, Kate Bosworth, wasn't with Orlando at the burnin' Sunset Strip spot, which is a shame, because Ms. Skin 'n' Jawline looks like she could totally use a good meal.
Dear Ted:
I had to laugh when reading the retraction statement regarding Orlando Bloom: "Southern sources are electronically screaming at my chicken-fried ass that Mr. Bloom was 'very, very sweet' with the locals and not at all germ phobic."
Have you Googled Orlando lately? (Who doesn't want to Google Orlando?) There are hundreds of Internet sites and forums devoted to the man. Scores of women--yes, women, not just teenyboppers--all over the globe will come rushing to his defense should you besmirch his lovely name.
Elizabeth Turner
Portland, Oregon
Dear Googling Gal:
Wait till you hear what I've got to say about Orlando's bathroom habits. Hell hath no fury like a fan base shaved.
I had to laugh when reading the retraction statement regarding Orlando Bloom: "Southern sources are electronically screaming at my chicken-fried ass that Mr. Bloom was 'very, very sweet' with the locals and not at all germ phobic."
Have you Googled Orlando lately? (Who doesn't want to Google Orlando?) There are hundreds of Internet sites and forums devoted to the man. Scores of women--yes, women, not just teenyboppers--all over the globe will come rushing to his defense should you besmirch his lovely name.
Elizabeth Turner
Portland, Oregon
Dear Googling Gal:
Wait till you hear what I've got to say about Orlando's bathroom habits. Hell hath no fury like a fan base shaved.
That's the Top Six. Then it's on to those we won't be tellin' mama 'n' papa about, the Bottom Nine.
5. Unisexual Charmers George Clooney & Hugh Jackman:
Gawd. Clooney just makes me nervous. And Hugh can give me private Boy from Oz performances anytime. I mean, think about it: Viggo & Orlando and all those obvious huggers and muggers should only hope to be so cool, so crisp, so collected. It's George and Hugh who win, ultimately, in the machismo mystery game. I'm afraid it's more of a money sport for...
5. Unisexual Charmers George Clooney & Hugh Jackman:
Gawd. Clooney just makes me nervous. And Hugh can give me private Boy from Oz performances anytime. I mean, think about it: Viggo & Orlando and all those obvious huggers and muggers should only hope to be so cool, so crisp, so collected. It's George and Hugh who win, ultimately, in the machismo mystery game. I'm afraid it's more of a money sport for...
First up, which queen was it who was saying all this Orlando 'n' Kate re-re-re-hookup nonsense was just that--as it was nonsensical to begin with, my damning dears? Me! Oh, but trust. This duo never was. Never will be. No matter how many times they do the red carpet tango. So pathetic how many Mare-kins--as Dubya loves to say--buy a duo just because they pose for the papa-Nazis.
• I'm told by folks who hung with K&O during their press-release affair that Mr. Bloom is now entranced by another, who's even more athletic than bitchin' Ms. Bosworth. And considering Kate's one of those original California she-woman chicks--before she decided to starve herself into non-physical-functionality--perhaps that's saying somethin', maybe not.
Blind Item
Another Hollywood bustup. Boo-freakin'-hoo. Excuse me if I'm not exactly cryin' into my hanky. In this town, where relationships last about as long as lunchtime Botox sessions, peeps who manage to stay together are the real newsworthy ones, don't you all think? Anyhow, I never really thought Pete Poked and Charmaine Chuck-Up were such hot 'n' heavy lovebirds in the first place.
I mean, you can't place your Prius in a spot that's already taken, can you? 'Course not! Kinda like how Char-love couldn't possibly be the stylish ride of choice for Petey's daredevil desires, 'cause he's already had a serious shotgun boyfriend for quite sometime. Yes, that's right: Just like Toothy and so many of the friggin' rest of 'em, P2 likes the boys, not the girls--no matter how thin or pretty or pouty they may be.
I'm told this par-tick tight boyish twosome enjoys sportin' weekend jaunts to the mountains, where they can hit the slopes and canoodle by candlelight far, far away from those pesky papa-Nazis. Wonder if Charmaine recently found out about these little snowy va-cays and went berserk, hence their recent bustup?
Or maybe she knew about them all along and is just dumping him now that her face has become so gaunt, she can't even fake the fake no more? Note to snitty types: Eat! Or your emoting capabilities nosedive, as it were.
• I'm told by folks who hung with K&O during their press-release affair that Mr. Bloom is now entranced by another, who's even more athletic than bitchin' Ms. Bosworth. And considering Kate's one of those original California she-woman chicks--before she decided to starve herself into non-physical-functionality--perhaps that's saying somethin', maybe not.
Blind Item
Another Hollywood bustup. Boo-freakin'-hoo. Excuse me if I'm not exactly cryin' into my hanky. In this town, where relationships last about as long as lunchtime Botox sessions, peeps who manage to stay together are the real newsworthy ones, don't you all think? Anyhow, I never really thought Pete Poked and Charmaine Chuck-Up were such hot 'n' heavy lovebirds in the first place.
I mean, you can't place your Prius in a spot that's already taken, can you? 'Course not! Kinda like how Char-love couldn't possibly be the stylish ride of choice for Petey's daredevil desires, 'cause he's already had a serious shotgun boyfriend for quite sometime. Yes, that's right: Just like Toothy and so many of the friggin' rest of 'em, P2 likes the boys, not the girls--no matter how thin or pretty or pouty they may be.
I'm told this par-tick tight boyish twosome enjoys sportin' weekend jaunts to the mountains, where they can hit the slopes and canoodle by candlelight far, far away from those pesky papa-Nazis. Wonder if Charmaine recently found out about these little snowy va-cays and went berserk, hence their recent bustup?
Or maybe she knew about them all along and is just dumping him now that her face has become so gaunt, she can't even fake the fake no more? Note to snitty types: Eat! Or your emoting capabilities nosedive, as it were.
